I now work outside the home and this brings on new challenges. Will I be God honoring each day? The same goes for in the house. Am I someone I want my girls to be as they grow up to be wives? Not at this point but I am working on it each day. I struggle to keep up on someday to day things due to my own thoughts and perceptions on how my life should be. I wanted to be my husbands princess not a helpmate. I am learning that I was brought up with a societal view not a biblical view.
What does it mean to truly be the wife my husband needs me to be? I must hold high the ability to guard against negative thoughts toward him. If I can hold my thoughts in a positive place where does my heart and tongue go, they fallow on my thoughts. I have struggled with my husband being gone 6-12 weeks a year each summer through fall with this my mind takes control of my tongue and heart I find myself quickly sliding into the lonely corners of my depression. I am learning with the help of others that the holy spirit is the only thing that can truly put my thoughts where they should be and that is on how blessed I am to have an amazing husband that works hard for our family. I still struggle with his work taking him away but I have to remember that he doesn't make me who I am. That is all on my shoulders so that I can rely on God and not my husband. I do have to stay very Christ centered in the months he is gone in order to stay worthy of him feeling that I bring him good each day. I can choose to be the nagging wife in Proverbs that is like the dripping water that drives him crazy if I don't watch myself.
This past fall was the worst of it and I was at a complete melting point. I felt as if his work was pulling our marriage and family apart we have since put some plans in place to help us stay connected in his busy seasons. If we as a couple don't communicate with each other on a even tone we find that we are not honoring each other or God. Our first role as a wife is to honor God then our spouse, yes there are times I will have to make a choice of which one it will be. Although I struggle with this all day as we all do I must remember that each day is new with new mercies for each of us.
Dear Lord, I thank you for the mercy you bring to me each day that I can start fresh with my service to you. I look at each new day as a gift you have given me to minister to my husband and family in only a way that I can with your help and loving hand in my life. Lord I pray today that you touch my home and those I am with, with your love for them.
In Jesus name Truly Truly Amen,