To Be Delighted In and To Delight in Others

Why do we feel we need to be delighted in?  Who ever told us that we had to be loved by others?  The Past few months I have been seeing a Christian councilor for some life stuff.  I struggle with not having the people I love give me unconditional love when I want them to do something different before I will change who I am.  The past month I took some time, lots of time to really reconnect with who I am, also what makes me love me and what makes me feel like I am fearfully and wonderfully  made with a purpose.

    Why do I look to others when this is what God is for?   If I look in his word we see so many times that he is our true rock, that he promises never to leave or forsake us.  What is it that makes us long for others to delight in us this is also in his word.    In over 20 verses it talks about fellowship with one another, that does that mean we love the time we spend together.  No, not every time we gather will it be joy filled but God wants us to love one another.    On Sunday the pastor preached from the pulpit on John 8:1-11 the story of the adulterous woman and I love John 8:7 in particular.

John 8:1-11 (ESV)8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery.5 Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?”6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”]]

I try to live that one out as much as possible. I remember one day on the school bus in late elementary school  the boys were picking on a heavy set girl and I turned around and gave them a lecture on how God loves her too and that they have faults as well they just aren't as noticeable from the outside.   Why is it even in adulthood we still feel as though some people treat us like we are back on the school bus.  They laugh and point out all our flaws but they forget to look at themselves first. How come we forget to look at others and ourselves as God has asked us to?  I ask you to take some time today and read passages on who you are in God.  Then take time to look at the people around you and see who they are in Gods eyes they grew up in a broken home with no true sense of love.   How can we then ask them to know how to love us?   Are we strong enough in the Lord to step up and pour Christ's love out of us and onto them even if it hurts?

To model is the best way to teach.

Natural Bridge Caverns

A little update we are 12 hrs from home nearing the end of great family road trip.  We had the privilege of celebrating my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary with an extended family trip to Texas. We are so blessed to have had a chance to sit back and share memories from the past.
    For me my in-laws have been the models of a Christian family.  The first time I was ever laid hands on to pray was at their home when I was 19.  I came from a church going family but my faith has been brought to a whole new level by the witness of who my in-laws are and the beliefs they have.
       This past week was a blast as when we were in Texas our oldest turned 12yrs old and all 17 of us enjoyed a day at Six flags Fiesta. My father-in-law loves trains so we spent some time at a small train museum, antiques with my mother in-law and spent some time exploring the Natural Bridge Caverns. 
   To model is the best way to teach!

Making wise purchases!

 In Proverbs 31:16 we read  "She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard."   
     This post has me thinking a little more about what we in our modern world are expected to do.  I look at it as be intentional about what we seek to buy. I really want a Kindle Fire but I am only taking $50 a month for my allowance each month and I use that to go on dates with the kids and have not saved it up for a Kindle.  Maybe some of you don't have an allowance but you buy things whenever you want. How then can we change our way of spending?

     I love the activity that our 7th grade class does each fall. The teacher gives them each a dollar to see how they can invest it for a profit. Some sell lemonade each fall. The teacher gives them each a dollar to see how they can invest it for a profit. Some sell lemonade, cotton candy, cookies, cupcakes and all the money in the end goes to the local charity.  
     I think about that and how would I do this project? I was just watching some videos on thrift store buying to sell on Ebay, I have sold baked goods before but as a wife what would be  a good investment  for my time?   would I turn around and put the money I earn into something productive?  These are all things I must think about as I look at the options. I drive around town and see houses for sale and it makes me think of a lady that buys houses fixeshouses fixes them up and rents them out. She has done most of the work  herself on these houses. Would that be a good thing for me to do? No, I am not interested in that line of earning money.  I have thought of having some kids at my house but out of respect for my husband that will not happen either.  These are just a few ways to make extra money to spend on the not so nicety or even add to a spend down budget.
     Please let me know if you have any other ideas.

Rise and Shine

  I am not good at getting up and getting stuff done when it's cold out and I can lay in bed and cuddle with my husband or kids.  To get up and start the day out right seems so hard.   I know the days I get up before the alarm goes off get my bible and cappuccino are the days that go so much better.   The days I prayerfully and diligently put my focus on God are the best days the most uplifting days I have.

   So why is it that that doesn't become a habit for me? Do I not want to have a God centered day each day?  Of course I do, we all as Christians want to walk in his will & be in his plan.   We struggle with this as well.   It is just to know that it only takes a half-hour to make a huge difference.  I have it in my schedule but it is the first thing that gets over looked because it is not something we can't miss like a shower.   If I miss my shower everyone knows because my hair is very oily.   If I miss breakfast it's pointless to be at work at  9:00 I am shot if i do not have a full stomach because my mind is thinking about food.  If I miss my devotional time no one else can tell or connect the dots that that is what is missing.   It's easy to step over that line and say oh I will make sure I do it tomorrow morning and then you repeat that statement each day.

   In the past few months I have actually pulled my bible up at my lunch brake after all the other staff is back in the classroom.   I can have a quit time then if at no other time I have learned to cherish this time with God in the midst of my busy day.

   Do I make it a point to stay up late? No not at all if you ask my family they will tell you that after 6:00 it's not the best time for me.   I really have tried hard to work on this aspect as my husband is a night person.  I am also working on making sure supper things are put away, maybe not all the dishes done yet but I am hoping to get there.

    Does this mean that I am not a Godly wife?  To some people yes but I think that as long as I have not given up on trying to improve myself it is not ungodly.   I do think that my decision to give up reading novels for pleasure at home only reading one if we have a vacation is a huge thing for me.  I have chosen to replace them with helpful biblical budgeting and homemaker books or blogs.   I know this time would be better used to do my homemaking but I only read in the car or in bed before I go to sleep.   I also have taken inventory of the time I spend on my phone for games and other leisure items.

    I have also made it a point to intentionally step up to what makes my husband feel loved.   Even if I am upset I have to put aside my anger and make him the meal or cleaning up his dirty clothes for the fifth time this week.   It's not about how others effect my day but how I choose to make my day for me.   Today had a rough start and was letting it bring me down until I remembered that I can choose to change it.

   I love this blog post by youngwifesguide.com  I felt like it was right out of my mind this January if this is where you are don't feel alone.  I have created this blog to be completely honest and open so that we know we are not alone in our walk as a biblical wife.

Dear Lord,
  Help me to put you first and walk in your will as a wife and mother.  I stumble on my own and I need you to hold me up. Lord let your spirit fill me that I will long to know what you have for me each morning may I look at what you give me in your love letter for me. Help me to pull it out and read it over and over as if it was a note from a high school crush that was so creased that I can no longer read all of it due to the use it had on an every day basis. Lord help me long for you early in the morning and all day long.
In your son Jesus name Truly Truly Amen

Slow cooked to perfection!

    Are we the modern wife of fast and easy or do you get filled with the joy of putting together a extravagant well planned meal?  As I dig deeper into Proverbs 31:14 my convictions came rolling up.  Meals  I am so the modern wife that would love to order out every day.  I am not sure about you but I hate the dishes!!
    In my studying up on this verse I was reading a few articles and the Let God Be True was a perspective I had not thought of before.  I thought of a wife that went out much like in verse 13 that watched how she spent the money and watched her budget.  Reading this article I was convicted with being a wife that holds joy in keeping a house and not needing material wants.  I have to admit this was very convicting to the point I was not sure I wanted to post on this verse.  My love language is not acts of service I am a quality time and words of affirmation person.  With that said to make a meal and have nagging children refuse to eat it after working hours on it doesn't bring me much joy.  I would much rather have a game day with pizza and games with my family.  Does this mean I am not biblical or doomed I don't think so.  This verse can be taken in some many ways but to me it is doing what makes your husband feel that his needs are met with the foods you provided him with.
    I do feel that it is important to make sure I try to cook as healthy as possible and this is why we try to do as much food from scratch as possible in my baking.  I LOVE MY CROCKPOT!!  If you come to my house there is a 75% chance the main part of the meal comes out of the crockpot.  This allows me to have time with my family, work and still get good food for supper.  Plus it is minimal cleaning if I only have one pot to clean up after.   We do have some premixed  mixes made at home to make homemade quick meals.  I am working on getting homemade hamburger helper mixes as well my kids love these basic recipes. I also do a lot of freezer meals as a working mom and a crockpot lover this works wonders for me and one day I can make a mess browning hamburger and mixing bowls then I don't have to dirty that much through out the weeks to come.  I try to get two meals a week done and put in the freezer the second Saturday of the month. This doesn't get done that often but this would be what I try to do. I can't come here today and tell you that I do any of this perfect but I hope that you gain hope in knowing that you are not alone in imperfections of life's busyness.  May God have us in his crockpot to make us perfect sometimes we may be on high and others he will allow the low heat on us.

Dear Lord,
Today I ask that you help me be a wife that honors who you made me to be by serving my family in the best way I know how. Lord help me to feel the convictions you give me and help me want to change to be the wife you want me to be.  Help me to plan my day with my priorities in your line of importance. Lord help fill me with your spirit that I may have eyes to see what you want done each day.
In Jesus Name Truly Truly Amen,

Budgeting is the Proverbs 31:13 in our modern day!

   Not many of us work with wool and flex anymore but we do have other ways of making sure we have clothing for our family.  Each of us has a different way of doing this but this post is mainly about my clothing budget.  I hope you can see how clothing can be bought on a very minimum budget when necessary.
   On my One Wife's Walk blog I have some more on our family budget.  I am going to take that one step deeper on the clothing aspect of that budget here.  First of all our kids get up to $6 a week each for allowance a portion of that goes to savings 10%, tithing10%, clothing 40%(until they have $100 than it can go to the following) treats/food 20% fun 20%.  They will buy the clothing they want out of that fund. Our oldest loves the thrift stores, our second child gets her  cloths from her older sister and our son inharets is older cousins clothes so each of the kids could get by without spending anything on clothes if they want to.  They get necessities from christmas and birthdays like socks and undergarments.
    My husband gets his clothing restocked in the summer.   I will get him 2-3 new pairs of jeans and a few T-shirts for good socks and any other necessities.  His old good clothing then becomes work clothes for the harvest season and through the year.
    I have a casual/dress dress-code for work.  HOW DO I DO THIS ON $100/yr!  I get my slacks and tops at the local thrift or consignment  shop where I find almost new clothes all the time I got a sweater with the tag still on that said $50 for $5 or $6. Our consignment shop has three dates each followed with a price on them starting usually with a month or two from drop off than a few months from that down to about 6 months from drop off and if I find one with the last date that is 2-3months old it is usually down even farther.  I purchase my clothes at the lowest price they will give I never buy the top two price on the tag.  My shoes I will buy there also if I can find them but I have a harder time being I have big feet.  If I order shoes it is usually a BOGO sale.  
  This takes extra planning and making sure when I purchase something it will be able to mix and match with different clothes and seasons.  We also wear our clothes out.  I have a pair of pants I have had for 15years WOW thats crazy but I know I had them for an event in high school and wear them to work last week.  My husband still wears the shirt he wore on our first date one and a great while if he is getting really dressed up.  The kids clothes we pass on because most of it we get for free so we give back by handing them to the next family to wear.
   I will admit I am not the best at staying on top of laundry or house work and I don't keep busy hands as much as I should or in the way some might think I should but I hope to please God and my husband by being the best stewed of what they have given me each day.  Please feel free to leave your comments below to help share Ideas of how we can pick out the best wool and flex for our families.

Dear Lord Help us to make sure we are using all you have given us to the best of our abilities. Help us as wives to make sure we do not foolishly impulse buy clothing that is unnecessary and not helpful to the bettering of our family.  Help us to keep what we have in proper working fashion each day to the best of our abilities as well. Lord use others to teach us how we can make the most of what you give us each day.
In Jesus name Truly Truly Amen.

Do we honor him?

   I truly think for me verses 11,12 & 23 are the hardest to keep on top of as a Proverbs 31 Wife.  In a society that doesn't speak well of men this is easy to get caught up in each day I have to think about what I am doing to bring good and not harm to my husband.  
   I now work outside the home and this brings on new challenges.   Will I be God honoring each day?  The same goes for in the house.  Am I someone I want my girls to be as they grow up to be wives?  Not at this point but I am working on it each day.  I struggle to keep up on someday to day things due to my own thoughts and perceptions on how my life should be.  I wanted to be my husbands princess not a helpmate. I am learning that I was brought up with a societal view not a biblical view.

  What does it mean to truly be the wife my husband needs me to be?  I must hold high the ability to guard against negative thoughts toward him.  If I can hold my thoughts in a positive place where does my heart and tongue go, they fallow on my thoughts.  I have struggled with my husband being gone 6-12 weeks a year each summer through fall with this my mind takes control of my tongue and heart I find myself quickly sliding into the lonely corners of my depression.  I am learning with the help of others that the holy spirit is the only thing that can truly put my thoughts where they should be  and that is on how blessed I am to have an amazing husband that works hard for our family.  I still struggle with his work taking him away but I have to remember that he doesn't make me who I am. That is all on my shoulders so that I can rely on God and not my husband.  I do have to stay very Christ centered in the months he is gone in order to stay worthy of him feeling that I bring him good each day. I can choose to be the nagging wife in Proverbs that is like the dripping water that drives him crazy if I don't watch myself. 

   This past fall was the worst of it and I was at a complete melting point. I felt as if his work was pulling our marriage and family apart we have since put some plans in place to help us stay connected in his busy  seasons. If we as a couple don't communicate with each other on a even tone we find that we are not honoring each other or God. Our first role as a wife is to honor God then our spouse, yes there are times I will have to make a choice of which one it will be. Although I struggle with this all day as we all do I must remember that each day is new with new mercies for each of us.

Dear Lord, I thank you for the mercy you bring to me each day that I can start fresh with my service to you.  I look at each new day as a gift you have given me to minister to my husband and family in only a way that I can with your help and loving hand in my life.  Lord I pray today that you touch my home and those I am with, with your love for them. 
In Jesus name Truly Truly Amen,